Fit For a Queen

I'd read about the tift between the BBC and queen Elizabeth today. Initially, I sided with photographer Annie Leibovitz. If a photographer is taking pictures of me, I'm assuming that she is doing her best to make the photo better. Added to, I'm not English thus the thought of royalty doesn't inspire awe in me. If the picture looks better without a crown than with it, then off with the crown.

At the same time however, I do recognize that just because I don't have a monarch doesn't mean that other's shouldn't respect theirs. As well, it's not my role to show disrespect to anyone's monarch. When I saw the clip of what actually happened, I realized that queen Elizabeth was well within standard when she refused to take off her crown.

You see, whatever one may think of royalty, one simply can't be so arrogant as to flippantly order the Queen of England around, in England, no less, which is exactly what Ms. Leibovitz tried to do. I know she may be a famous photographer but Annie Leibovitz probably needs Queen Elizabeth more than the queen needs her. And the Queen of England is not chopped liver. She was there with her citizenry when the Germans bombed London and has been there every since. This would be the modern equivalent of President Bush booking a room in the French Quarter the night before Hurricane Katrina rolled in. For the last 50 years, she's been a model of decorum, propriety, and yes, leadership for the United Kingdom and the world. No tacky sexcapades, no drunken embarassments, no tearful apologies. She's done her duty and quite frankly, has done it with style and grace.

Annie Leibovitz is famous for her craft, I suppose, but compared to the long and distinguished shadow of Queen Elizabeth is but a mere flash in the pan. So I'm with you, Queen Elizabeth. You can wear whatever you like, when you like, and shouldn't have to hear a word about it from anyone. And by the way, its a tiara, not a crown.

Paris Hilton: We've Earned her Fair and Square

We deserve Paris Hilton, we've earned her in some measure. Unlike most though, I actually don't feel any acute hostility towards her. On my "I hate this celebrity-ometer", I actually find her less grating than Rosie O'Donnell, less pompous than Donald Trump, less ubiquitous than Rachel Ray. People say that they're tired of seeing Paris Hilton but I personnally disagree. I never really see her. We don't hang out in the same places, so to speak. I don't watch trashy television like E Entertainment or read trashy magazines like Us Weekly. I don't watch reality TV (the Simple Life, for instance), pre-Oscar banter, post Oscar coverage, or the MTV awards. I won't pretend that I've never seen or indulged in any of the aforementioned mediums, it's just not my habit to do so. Therefore, as a matter of habit, I don't see much of the Heiress at all.


Then Paris Hilton went to jail. The country went into an uproar. Nancy Grace nearly had an aneurysm. Lou Dobbs stopped talking illegal immigration for at least 8 minutes. I couldn't escape it either. U.S. society seemed to be split into howling thirds. One third screamed she got what she deserved. One third (the lawyers) clamored she got a raw deal. The final third angrily wondered why Paris Hilton was getting all of this coverage.


I'm a Stephen Covery fan so I'll begin with the end in mind. I think I know why Paris Hilton received all of this coverage. It's because we've asked for it. It's been said that a country gets the government it deserves. I suppose we get the celebrities we deserve as well. We treasure trash. We watch mind-numbing reality TV. We buy trashy entertainment magazines. We tune in to the most recent star sightings. Put these three together, bake at 350 degrees for 15 minutes and you might get a Paris Hilton, over 300 million served. Yes indeed, we've earned our Heiress, fair and square.


Some said that rich brat got what was coming to her. I think, however, that this sentiment has as much to do with with our collective ire toward the pretty and privileged elite who seem to play by a different set of rules. I remember rich 16 year old girls driving to school in their mustang convertibles and their 17 year old star quarterback boyfriends in their new Chevy Blazers. Most of them were actually okay one on one, sometimes a bit dim-witted but their parents had the right connections so they were always first with the new stuff, could afford the coolest class rings, and didn't have to choose between paying for the senior cruise or not having any money in their pocket while they were on the senior cruise. In the end, we like it when the privileged can't buy their way out of trouble. So yes, I suppose Paris got what was coming to her, in a way.


Others (mainly defense lawyers) felt that Paris got more time than she deserved. They have a point too. If I'd received two DUIs, I likely wouldn't have spent a day in jail, in San Francisco. In Texas, I may have received the death penalty. All things being equal though, people generally don't get much, or any time for driving infractions unless they killed someone, hurt someone, or are named Paris Hilton. I suppose it depends on the judge, but there probably isn't one judge in these United States of America who would want to live down being the one who let Paris Hilton off easy because she is a celebrity. And yes, it is unfair.

But life is unfair and so in the end Paris probably got what she deserved. And then she got out of jail and got an exclusive interview with CNN's Larry King, and we tuned in. Why? Because we deserve Paris Hilton. With our low standard for entertainment, we created her celebrity and now we're stuck with it.